Public speaking tips for introverts. (Like me.)

Published: Tue, 09/05/17

Hello. My name is Alex, and I am very, very introverted.

My idea of a perfect night is... sipping an Old Fashioned, listening to this jazztronica playlist, and reading a trashy romance novel with approximately 6 pillows piled on top of me so that only my eyeballs and elbows are visible.

My fantasy is for someone to invent a food delivery service where they slip the food through a flap in your door and you don’t have to speak to anyone.

When a friend texts to say, “So sorry, can’t make it tonight, can we reschedule?” I am never upset and, in fact, I am usually relieved and delighted. An evening with no social activities! Hooray!

I love human beings, but I recharge by having time alone—walking alone, reading alone, hiking in nature, or sitting in a coffee shop with headphones on—the universal signal for “do not disturb.”

Because I'm super introverted, I used to think that speaking in front of an audience probably wasn't something I ought to do. Teaching a workshop? Being on a podcast? Being (gulp) on camera?! Hrrmm. No.

"I'm more of a 'behind the scenes' person. I'm not a 'spotlight' person," I told myself for a long time, convincing myself that it was true.

Maybe you feel that way too. Maybe you think to yourself, "I couldn't possibly speak onstage, or lead a class, or be on a radio show, or anything like that. Other people, sure. But not me."

I encourage you to challenge those beliefs. Because you might be underestimating yourself. You might be putting yourself into a box. Maybe it's time to gently tip-toe outside of that box. Just one tiny step. Maybe you will surprise yourself.

Earlier this year, I created my very first video class with my friend Susan. We filmed all day, and then ate salad, took quiet baths, and watched Gossip Girl in our pajamas. Introverts: unite!

Whether you consider yourself an introvert, an extrovert, or a little of both... you've got a voice. I urge you to use it.

Tell a story around the dinner table. Do a spur-of-the-moment video on social media. Teach a 30-minute lunchtime class for your colleagues at work. Share a perspective that people need to hear, that you wish more people understood. Lead a workshop with 6 participants in your backyard and a pitcher of lemonade and a dog snoozing on the patio. If there's something you feel an urge to share, to teach, to express... just go for it.

Don't convince yourself that other people have what it takes, but not you. That's simply not true. Why not your voice? Why not your story? Why not your tips and techniques?

The biggest shift in my entire life has been the mental-shift from thinking "I could never..." to "Well, why not me?"

And... why not you?

-Alex

PS. Want some public speaking tips... especially for quiet, soft-spoken types and introverts? I've got 5 suggestions for you. Here they are.

PPS. Want to hear a story about one of my very first speaking gigs? I was incredibly nervous—and I over-rehearsed and over-prepared like crazy. Here's what happened.

PPPS. Want to hear a story about one time when I almost canceled a speaking gig because I felt embarrassed about my appearance? Thank God I came to my senses. No more canceling. Canceling is officially canceled.

PPPPS. Want to hang out with me and learn some new writing, storytelling, and public speaking skills? And eat cake? And meet my mom—who happens to be a retired opera singer and an amazing voice / speaking coach? You can do all of those things at this class. It's called OUT LOUD, and it's happening 3 times this fall. Los Angeles, New York City, and Portland. We're comin' to you. Get your tickets here.

OUT LOUD is an introvert-friendly class with around 10-15 people per group. We won't make you stand up and give a speech. We won't make you do anything terrifying. I promise. You can sit back, relax, take notes, jot down helpful ideas, and soak in tons of encouragement and you-can-do-this vibes. It will be lots of fun, and I hope you can make it!

PPPPPS. Not interested in any of this stuff? Just poking around down here looking for some music recommendations? Check out this playlist and this one, too. Enjoy!