My new book, You're Going to Survive, is available today! Whoa! It's book launch day!
This book is full of true stories from people who’ve
endured soul-crushing moments in their careers — failure, rejection, disappointment, public humiliation — and how they got through it, and how you will too.
I'm so proud of this book. My heart is bursting. I hope you'll buy it, love it, gift it, share it, review it, and crack it open whenever you need some encouraging words. Thank you x infinity! Get your paperback or Kindle book
on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and IndieBound.
. . .
And now, a story about
failure...
A few years ago, I decided to teach a writing workshop in Los Angeles.
I was hoping that 25 or 30 people would purchase tickets. I felt pretty confident (over-confident, perhaps) that it would be a hugely successful event. But then... only 6 people signed
up.
I felt confused. I felt invisible. I felt rejected. For the first time in my career, I felt like an abysmal failure. Mostly, I felt embarrassed. I worried those 6 people would walk into the mostly-empty room and feel disappointed, or think I was a total loser.
I seriously
considered canceling the event.
I printed out the list of people who'd purchased a ticket. I read their names over and over. I wrestled with my emotions. What next? Proceed? Cancel? Reschedule? Do a more assertive marketing push and try to drum up more sales? Beg? Plead? What could I do?
Something in my hut (heart + gut) told me, "Don't cancel. There's a better option."
And then, my hut said to me, "Find a way to make this workshop feel amazing, regardless of how many people show up. Figure something out. There's got to be a way."
I emailed those 6 people and I decided to be completely honest. I told them that ticket sales were unexpectedly low. I told them, "We've got plenty of space in the classroom." I told them, "Please bring a friend, bring your mom or dad, bring your kids to the workshop... for free. My treat. Complimentary tickets for everyone! Let's fill the room with people we love and make it the best weekend ever."
All 6 people were ecstatic. They invited the most incredible people. We had a male midwife in the room, a champion swing dancer, a magazine editor, a TV actress, a visual artist... such a rich, eclectic crowd. So much joy, enthusiasm, and passion in the room.
That workshop ended up being one of the peak experiences of my entire career — a weekend I will never forget. When it was over, nobody wanted to leave! I didn't want it to end, either.
And to think...
I almost canceled the whole thing because I
felt embarrassed about the fact that ticket sales were lower than I’d hoped. I’m so glad I came to my senses.
I often think back to that experience whenever I’m feeling disappointed because something isn’t panning out the way I predicted or wanted.
The question I ask myself is:
“How can I make this feel amazing?”
If ticket sales are slow and I feel sad about that, how can I make this feel amazing?
If everyone flakes out at the last minute and only two people show up for my birthday party, how can I make this feel amazing?
If a literary agent or publisher says “no thanks” to my book (which has happened to me — over 30 times), what’s the next move? How can I bring my project into the world in a different manner? How can I make this feel amazing?
When we’re willing to be imaginative and flexible,
there’s always some way to turn a sour, disappointing experience into an amazing experience. Maybe even something better, sweeter, and more emotionally rewarding than the original plan.
May your next "failure" be... completely amazing. If that's what you decide to feel and believe, then that's exactly what it will
be.
-Alex
PS. I made an audiobook with selected stories from You're Going to Survive. It's free. Here it is!
