I don’t enjoy typing into my phone. So, when I text people, I often use the voice-to-text feature. I speak aloud and the phone transcribes my mouth-sounds into electro-words. Sometimes, this works out perfectly. Other times, not so much.

Recently, I was in a hurry, and I sent (what I thought was) a totally clear text message to my assistant. Blah-blah-blah. Click. Send. 

Here’s what the phone thought I said:

“Mama but hotdog, will buy flour, whatever.”

What I actually said was…literally nothing even remotely close to that. It was something about how much she should charge for a proofreading project. Hahaaaa.

We both cracked up. She designed a fake book cover and fake inspirational poster with this glorious sentence inscribed upon it, which made me sob from laughter. “Mama Hotdog!” has become our new favorite thing to say. It’s useful in practically every scenario.

Your friend enters the restaurant, glowing from head to toe, looking absolutely radiant.

“Mama Hotdog! You look amazing!”

 

You have a really stressful day and nothing’s going right.

 

“Mama Hotdog, I’m exhausted.”

 

You watch the sunset over the ocean, blazing rose and gold across the heavens, and contemplate God’s majesty.

 

{Nodding thoughtfully, awestruck} “Wow. Mama Hotdog.” 

 

The Mama Hotdog book cover is now…my iPhone wallpaper. I love it so much. It reminds me to fret less, laugh more, and not take my life so seriously. 

 

The emails. The sales. The deadlines. The SEO optimization (I’m still honestly not sure what this even means.) The meetings. The invoices. The petty annoyances of the day. The big things, too. Betrayal. Grief. Heartbreak. Loss. Ultimately, we’re all riding a spherical rock that’s roaring through the infinite mystery of the cosmos. So many things are bewildering, unfathomable, and—at least, on some level—pretty hilarious.  

Mama Hotdog, am I right?!

 

You’re doing a great job.

 

It’s probably going to work out just fine.

 

Try to keep laughing. Try to be kind to yourself and others.

 

And if you mess up, or if things don’t pan out perfectly, Mama Hotdog loves you anyway.

 

-Alex

 

PS. What makes you laugh reeeeeeeeally hard? :)

 

PPS. This makes me laugh so much. And this. And this, thiiiis, and this. 

 

PPPS. I’ve been in a hip-hop, dancehall, jiggly, wavy mood lately. I made a new playlist. About 90 minutes long. Enjoy. 

 

PPPPS. I wrote this email quickly and it *might* have a typo or two. If it does...sweet Mama Hotdog! Heavens to Betsy! Forgive me.