Sometimes it's really awkward and uncomfortable to ask for what you want...or need.
It's easy to talk yourself out of it, and decide, "Never mind, I won't ask for that." "It's not the right time." "It's pointless, they'll never agree." "I don't deserve it anyway." "I don't want to seem pushy and rude." "It's not a good idea."
I want to remind myself, and you, and everyone, that asking is always worth the effort.
It's worth it for so many reasons.
Don't let fear win. Let courage win.
Here are 20 reasons why you should just go ahead and ask...even if you're scared:
1. Because they might say, “Yes.”
2. Because they might say, “Actually, I have a different proposition for you…” and then propose something even better than what you expected.
3. Because they might say, “No,” but hearing “no” is actually good for you. It helps you build emotional strength, resilience, stability. It’s like weight lifting for your spirit. You get stronger.
4. Because even if they say, “No,” you still gain something valuable. For instance, you gain information you didn’t have before.
5. Because (even if it seems like they’re not paying attention) your kids learn from the example you set. When your daughter watches you confidently ask for what you want, she grows up feeling empowered to do this, too.
6. Because every “no” means you’re that much closer to a “yes.”
7. Because hearing “no” 100 times is going to be an inspirational story one day. You’ll tell your grandkids about that time you pitched your idea to 100 investors and everyone said no, but you kept going and the 101st person said yes. And that’s how your multi-million dollar business empire started. Keep going. Do it for the story you’ll tell one day.
8. Because asking is a skill that requires practice, an art form, and you get better every time you do it.
9. Because asking can usually be framed as a win-win situation. Whatever you’re proposing, maybe it’s an absolute dream scenario for you and for them! Maybe you’re going to earn money while making their life 100x easier. Fair trade. Win-win!
10. Because asking is often about something that’s bigger than just “you.” Ask for justice. Ask for fairness. Ask for your family. Ask for your kids. Ask for the forgotten ones. Ask on behalf of those whose voices go ignored.
11. Because when you ask, you become a role model to those around you. Your friends. Your family. Complete strangers who follow you online. People see how you lead and think, “I can ask, too.”
12. Because when you ask, there’s some likelihood (ranging from 1-100%) that they will say yes. When you don’t ask, there is 0% chance they will say yes.
13. Because when you ask, you gain practice in “being uncomfortable,” which is one of the most valuable life skills you can have. When you learn how to tolerate a temporary wave of discomfort, this makes you a better leader, speaker, writer, artist, athlete, human.
14. Because small asks can lead to big things. Asking for a small pay increase, $5 an hour, will probably add up to $10,400 per year or $520,000 over the course of a 50-year-long career. That’s a nice chunk of change. That’s a house.
15. Because it’s a low-investment / high-reward situation. Asking usually takes a few seconds, a few minutes, maybe an hour tops. Very minimal time investment. But the reward could change the next decade of your life.
16. Because when you ask, doors open for you. Doors you can see. And doors you can’t see yet. Unexpected doors. Asking sets the wheel of life in motion and often leads you to surprisingly beautiful places.
17. Because it’s tedious to sit around wishing for things, but not going after what you want. Life becomes much more exciting when you ask. If your life story was a movie, would you want your audience to be bored to tears and dozing off…or thrilled, on the edge of their seat, and eager to see what comes next?
18. Because asking really just means you’re saying, “Hey, I’ve got an idea that might upgrade both of our lives! Could I tell you about it?”…and that’s a great thing, not an icky thing.
19. Because despite all the modern scientific advancements, mind-reading still hasn’t been invented yet. Nobody knows exactly what you want. Until you ask.
20. Because no matter what the immediate outcome may be, you will know you tried your best. You didn’t let fear win. You let courage win. And that says something about your character.
Ask someone to hire you. Ask for higher pay. Ask for a better office. Ask for a flexible schedule. Ask for a bonus after accomplishing an impressive goal. Ask for a scholarship. Ask for more help with household chores. Ask for your cold sandwich to be buttered and toasted. Ask for support. Ask for your boundaries to be respected. Ask to be romanced and treated like a King/Queen/Non-gender-specific Royalty. Ask for justice. Ask for credit. Ask for a
fresh start.
Give the best of yourself and ask for the best in return.
What will you ask for today?
-Alex
PPS. Also...I'm so, so, so excited about this. :)